From the South: Take the Highway to Nowhere and get off at Any Exit. Turn either left or right depending on your preference. Continue on until you get to nowhere and you'll see the church straight ahead.
From the North: Take the Santa Perdida Expressway as far as you can and take the exit just before the next one. Stop at the gas station an ask for directions.
From the East: Take the Ventura Highway across the desert until you pass a guy riding a horse with no name. Turn right immediately after the desert rose and continue on until 1969.
From the West: Sorry. You can't get here from there.